Letter #9

See the bright spot above the others? That's the moon. 

Dear October,

        There are some days that don’t get better until night falls. I spent most of my day stressing out about different things, none of them very consequential. But now, sitting in the library, eavesdropping on the hushed conversations around me, and (the best part) actually making progress on an essay I have to write for Lit class, things are finally starting to look up. All day I couldn’t figure out what I wanted my letter for today to be about. Sometimes I just know, but today it didn’t become clear until I listened to the song of the day and watched the beautiful fan-made video that goes with it. Something about this song and the warm imagery accompanying it made me feel instantly better. It’s like when you trip and catch yourself at the last minute. Your heart is beating fast, but the ground no longer looks threatening and the world is stable again. Even though I know the path ahead could be full of craggy roots and broken sidewalks, I feel so much more confident about heading out into the dark. So October, "I dare you to close your eyes, and see all the colors in disguise." I welcome whatever you have in store with open arms.

Laura

Song of the day: "Yellow Light" by Of Monsters and Men

Letter #8

Dear October,

         Today passed by in a flash, as is the custom of the last day of any break. It was kind of a lame day, too, full of homework and not nearly as exciting as the one before it. I did however get to chat with one of my dearest friends on the phone, see a huge crescent moon that I want to believe is characteristic of Autumn, and got to observe the 500 middle schoolers that showed up at my school around lunch time today. My friends and I nicknamed them “the locusts,” which I suppose I should feel bad about since I was in middle school once, too. One upside: the cafeteria food was especially good because of all the visitors. This afternoon was the perfect day for lounging outside in the grass, but I mostly stayed inside because my laptop screen couldn’t compete with the sun. (I was writing an essay, so there was really no way of getting around it) Instead, I took this picture. Can you see the little people on blankets in the grass? Anyway, it’s late and I want to get up early tomorrow, unlike the past few days. I promise tomorrow's letter will be more exciting. Peace out.

Laura

Song of the day: "Penny Lane" by The Beatles

Letter #7

Space age tentacle chairs! (Thanks Tessa, for taking this photo)

Dear October,

        You were so beautiful today! Your skies were a crystalline blue, and the air had a sharpness to it that woke me up a little bit each time I breathed in. In the afternoon two friends and I walked to the Cedar Rapids Public Library, which let me tell you, is a million times more amazing than I thought it was going to be. It is brand new, big, and beautiful, with ultra modern touches and incredibly high ceilings. It’s like a giant space-ship of books. While trying (and failing) to get our library cards from one of the GIANT IPADS attached to the wall, we eventually asked the desk clerk in the children’s section for help, and she cheerfully obliged, taking her time with each of us to answer our questions and double check our information. Seriously, this woman was the epitome of Iowa niceness, and everything I’ve ever wanted in a librarian. We then sauntered over to the teen-fiction section. Earlier today I had checked WorldCat (a worldwide library catalog) to see if any of the books on my to-read list came up in Cedar Rapids. (When you are an avid reader like me, you almost never go to the library unprepared.) Almost nothing turned up. What I later discovered is that the library must not have cataloged many books on outside servers yet, because they had all the books I was looking for. By the time we were finished we had six or seven books each. I’m usually pretty good about not going overboard on library rentals, but today I indulged myself. We ate dinner at the café inside the library. I had a roasted turkey sandwich on delicious focacia bread. On the way back I lugged the cart that my friend had (very smartly) decided to bring, with our cargo cradled neatly inside. Surprisingly, the bag fit all of the books perfectly. 

But the best part by far was following my friends up to their dorm room, curling up on a corner of the bed, and reading.  All three of us read late into the night, each lost in the worlds of our books. On one instance one of them coughed, and about three seconds later we both looked from our books and stared at her. “Are you okay?” my other friend asked her. “Yeah,” she said, slightly confused, “It was just one cough.” We burst out laughing, then, because we had both been so engrossed in our books that the cough had taken on this weird novelty aspect, and had brought us, startlingly, back to reality. One by one each of my friends finished their books. It was so cool to see them resurfacing from the world they had just inhabited, holding the book tightly as through afraid it might fly away. I finished last, my friends already on their second read, but the satisfaction of finishing a book  in one sitting was totally worth it. I can’t remember the last time I read for so long, so completely.  And the best part was that it was a surprisingly communal act. Even though we were all silently reading different books, there was a sense that each of us understood how the other ones felt in that moment. I finished my book around midnight. We chatted for a little bit and then I gathered up my books and went back to my dorm room, where I am now, writing this. Sitting here, in the semi-dark, the magic hasn’t left me. The satisfyingly large stack of books is just to my right, waiting patiently for me to pick up another. I let a few of the images from the book I just finished play through my mind. I savor the time spent with its characters, and wait for the story to settle inside me, to become whole, a piece of my memory. 

Tomorrow, I will pick up a new book, but I probably won’t be reading it in one sitting. I still like savoring a book, reading bits at a time, maybe powering through the last night of reading if the ending is really good. I probably won’t be able to finish the remaining five before they are due again. But that’s okay, because right now just their presence is comforting, a gentle reminder of a day well spent.

Laura

Song of the day: Silence, which is the best way to read.

Letter #6

Dear October,

        I did some writing today! Your weather helped, since you decided to get cold and rainy, giving me an excuse to stay inside. I’m slowly, slowly getting back into the habit of writing. Today was some of the first work I’d done on an actual story since attempting Camp NaNoWriMo back in July, and it felt good. But it was also really difficult. My inner editor decided that her vacation was over and made a grand entrance about one sentence into my story. I sluggishly worked through most of the afternoon, sitting on my bunk bed to keep my feet warm (my room’s not that cold, it’s just my feet), and wrote in miniscule spurts, taking frequent Twitter breaks and consulting some of the books shown above for inspiration. It feels like my brain is all over the place today, but after I finish this letter I’m going to dive back in and really try to get some words written. I like writing in the evening because it’s quiet and I don’t have the urge to go out and do things like I do at the start of the day. In the evening I can curl up with a cup of tea and write to my heart’s content, long after Ms. Sassy Inner Editor has gone to bed. I do miss the big green armchair in my living room where I got a lot of writing done, though. Especially on cold nights with a fire burning in the fireplace. That, and my feet are cold. Please be warm tomorrow, October. I have to make a trip to the library.

Laura 

Song of the day: "About As Helpful As You Can Be Without Being Any Help At All" by Dan Mangan

Letter #5

Dear October,

        (This letter is more to myself than to you. I hope you don’t mind. ) Laura. If you are reading this in the future, this is your eighteen-year-old self talking. I’ve been thinking a lot about how we tend to forget the little things that are really big things, and I’m not just talking about the smell of coffee in the morning or the way the light falls across your room at magic hour. Yes, you should pay attention to those things, but I have a feeling you already do. I’m talking about the ideas that resonate with us in the moment but get lost in the jumble of other thoughts vying for our attention. Ideas like: “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”- Annie Dilliard. And: “Finish what you’re writing. Whatever you have to do to finish it, finish it.”- Neil Gaiman. And: “Don’t back away from something because it’s difficult.”-Me. I am reminded of these things when I find them in obscure word documents on my computer, or scribbled on a page in my notebook, but for some reason they don’t stick. Weeks later I’m still leaving stories unfinished, and hesitating when faced with a challenge. Maybe by this time next year you’ll have figured out a way to live your life according to these principles, but something tells me it’s not just about remembering. I think the best we can do is try to internalize these ideas, to turn them into habits, values, intrinsic to how we live our lives. That way, we don’t need to be reminded of them. And like anything else, our habits and values aren’t perfect, and we can’t live up to them all the time, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. I’m still a long way from that stage, but maybe this letter will serve as its own reminder. So if you’re reading this, don’t forget: Finish what you start. Embrace challenges. Live each day knowing that it is not some isolated moment, but part of your life, and you are always living it.

Laura

Song of the day: "Eet" by Regina Spektor

Letter #4

Dear October,

         Today was, in most respects, a great day. You gave me the rain storm I’d asked for yesterday, and cleared up for another beautiful sunset. Because today was the last day before fall break,  classes were laid back and fun. I ate dinner with some great people in the almost empty cafeteria, and then got to video chat with friends back home. Even though there were some technical glitches, and I ended up having to communicate through instant message, it was so great to see everyone’s faces again. I feel grounded in both my new reality and my old, and I’m glad I haven’t abandoned one for the other. What’s more, my cooped-up creativity is ready to pry its way out, and fall break provides the perfect opportunity to work on all the beautiful little story ideas I’ve been having recently. My heart is full of my wonderful friends, my mind is brimming with words, and I can tell that this long weekend is going to be just what I need. Thank you, October, for the gifts you’ve given me so far. Just make sure to keep ‘em coming ;)

Laura

Song of the day: "New Slang" by The Shins

Letter #3

Dear October,

        You were supposed to rain today. Instead, you just teased us with pockets of sunshine and clouds. You made me lug my umbrella around for nothing, but I guess that’s what I get for believing the weather forecasts. I’m not sure I have any philosophical musings for you today. I took my first major college exam this afternoon. It went well, except for the True/False section. I HATE true/false questions. They only work in absolutes, and I always over think them, assuming that the addition of one word is enough to shift the entire statement from true to false or vice-versa. What’s more, these were hardly absolute statements, and for some of them you could make a pretty good argument for either side. There were only a few questions like this, and I feel confident about the rest of it, but it still got on my nerves. Tonight I plan to wind down with a cup of tea and a good book. And that’s really all I have for you, October. Some days are less poetic than others.

Laura

Song of the day: "Let the Rain" by Sara Bareilles (ps. This video is why I love her.)