I love taking time to chronicle my day, even if its only in outline form. It gives credence to both the productive days and the ones where I only manage to get a few words down. It makes each attempt seem noble and good, because look, I showed up, I attempted. I love deciding what to put into my maker's log and what to leave out on any given day. I love reading my old entries. Looking back, I can already see the shifts in perspective, and the things I'm going to have to re-learn over and over again. It makes this thing I'm doing, this endless swath of words, seem a little more worth it.
I'm planning for this to be a monthly series on my blog: a compilation of some of the entries from my log throughout the month. As much as I'd like to say I write in my log book every night, that's just not the case. I've never been good at doing anything daily (as you all can probably attest to), but it feels good to do something semi-regularly, to document even the most incremental of progress, and to honor it for what it is.
What follows is a smattering of entries from the past few months. They have been tremendously helpful for me to write, and I hope they will be helpful for those of you trying to stick to a creative practice- I know first hand just how hard it can be. Stay turned for a September-specific maker's log at the end of the month!
3/18/18
Today I... Went exploring with my friend for the second day in a row. I finally got up the nerve to record parts of our conversation for my walking episode [of the podcast I want to make someday but is currently on the back burner]. In the evening, even though I was really tired, I did most of a water color painting for my book postcards project. All in all a productive day.
Was inspired by... Colorful fences, houses painted audacious shades of purple, people who kept asking us if we were artists when we told them we were going to Texas Art Supply, my friend's encouragement and enthusiasm for my podcast, feeling like I could do anything!
Listing to... Linus and Lucy by George Winston while painting, so relaxing.
Reading... Nothing :( Didn't have time.
Feeling... Like I'm on top of the world! That I wish more days were like today and yesterday. That I'm exhausted...
What I learned... Spending time with people who inspire you is important. People are more receptive to your ideas that you think they will be. Make time for inspiration - it makes actually making things easier. You don't have to do everything alone!
3/29/18
Today I... Wrote most of a short story based off of Edward Gorey's shuffled stories. It started out as an attempt at a blog post and it feels like it could turn into something much longer. Had one of those surreal writing experiences where you just completely lose yourself in the story and it hardly feels like you're doing any work at all...Until you come out of it and you realize that it's almost 1am! I feel kind of like I'm in some sort of brain fog induced by intense concentration. Worried that I'll lose all of my momentum if I try and start again tomorrow, but I know if I kept going I would literally be up all night. I wish FLOW would happen more often!
Was inspired by... Alice Oseman. She's so down to earth and she seems like a person who knows how to find the fun in writing. Also Edward Gorey is a genius.
Listening to... The intense quite created by my headphones. Earlier today: Julia Nune's album, Some Feelings
Reading... The Wild Birds by Emily Strelow, In the park, on my lunch break. Proud of myself for actually reading on my lunch break!
Feeling... Like I should trust my instincts more. It's really nice to write something for the sake of writing, not because you want to use it for a project or publish it or even finish it.
What I learned... It doesn't help to beat yourself up over NOT working on the novel or a blog post or whatever. It does help to make what feels right in the moment.
4/7/18
Today I... Actually finished a blog post! I'd been feeling really uninspired with the blog recently but today I took the time to really search for inspiration. I finally found it in the form of a blog called Enjoy It - it's a really great mixture of personal posts and really helpful tips, not to mention gorgeous photography. Took some cues from her and am very happy with the result. Con: I didn't work on my novel at all.
Was inspired by... The blog mentioned above; thinking about Frank Lloyd Wright for my blog post (he was so prolific!); and this quote, even thought it's hard medicine to swallow: "A professional is one who does his best work when he feels the least like working." - FLW
Listening to... Hozier! How did I not realize he was so good!
Reading... The Honey Farm by Harriet Alida Lye. Will try to read a few more pages before bed.
Feeling... Tired, too warm, like my hair is really greasy, like I made progress today, but hoping that in the future I don't need to spend hours scrolling blogs in order to feel inspired enough to write.
What I learned... Patience is as much a part of creativity as anything else.
5/9/18
Today I... Wrote 360 words, painted a little watercolor illustration to go with my blog post, and then posted it!
Was inspired by... I'm not sure... mostly lyrics to my favorite songs.
Listening to... Andriene Lanker! So good!
Reading... Nothing at the moment :(
Feeling... A little overwhelmed by all the stuff I want to make....again.
What I learned... Doing that little watercolor painting lifted my spirits os much. I felt accomplished, AND I didn't even have to get up that much earlier than normal in order to do it. So nice to have tangible progress!
8/21/18
Today I... Wrote 27 words, aka 2 sentences. This was just a few minutes ago, after I decided that I needed to get over my creative procrastination habit once and for all. It actually felt like a bit of a relief to open the document again. I've built it up in my head as this scary thing, when really it's not. I also wrote an entry in my journal and even though I'm still unsure about where I want all of my creative projects to go, it's nice to feel somewhat in control again. I don't have to figure it all out right now. I just have to devote myself to showing up in the barest possible capacity until I'm ready to move forward.
Was inspired by... Molly de Montaigne on Youtube, esp. her video on journaling. It reminded me that journaling doesn't have to be only one thing - that it is completely private and personal and unique. Also she's one of the first people I've seen make a video about finishing a novel draft who openly and happily reveled in the fact that it's bad. She calls first drafts clay. Not bowls or vases, just clay, that you have to shape into something better. I really like that.
Listening to... 99% Invisible, specifically their wildfire series. I'm really trying to re-ignite my love of podcasts.
Reading... Recently finished Bleaker House, which made me want to work on my novel even more. It gave me the profound sense that I was reading the right book at just the right time, which is a great feeling. Am going to read at least 2 pages of Thoreau's journals tonight, after I finish this entry. I never want to pick it up, but I'm always glad I did.
Feeling... Relieved that I feel somewhat more in control of my creative life. I want to create rituals for my creativity - I think embracing small steps jus might work. So yeah, relieved and cautiously optimistic.
What I learned... I can make myself write 2 sentences even when I don't want to. Sometimes, letting go of the big picture helps.
8/23/18
Today I... Wrote 56 words. A couple more sentences. I feel like I have the urge to write but my procrastinator's brain keeps getting in the way. I'm hoping that this little mini vacation to Austin will free my mind up a bit. I want to associate writing and creativity with that vacation state of mind - maybe then it won't feel so much like work.
Was inspired by... My own imagination (is that arrogant to say?). I keep thinking about all the stuff I'm magically going to fit into 3 days. It's not going to happen, but it's fun to think about.
Listening to... The Bundyville podcast. So addicted! Also my Meld playlist which is just a good upbeat mix of songs I love.
Reading... A couple more entries in Thoreau's journals.
Feeling... A little stressed, but mostly just excited. I want this weekend to be restorative and fun, but I really want to come back from it refreshed and inspired and ready to FINISH MY NOVEL!
8/25/18
Today I... Wrote part of a recap of our Austin trip for the blog, which I'm actually really proud of. It feels funny and interesting, and like something someone else might actually want to read.
Was inspired by... The guy with his golden retriever at the lake. He was standing waist deep in the water and every so often he would hold the dog up so he could swim a little bit. We should all aspire to be more like that guy and his dog.
Listening to... My Earthy playlist while driving through the hills of Austin.
Reading... A few pages of Wildlands by Abby Geni. I can already tell I'm going to be totally sucked in.
Feeling... Rejuvenated, excited, inspired.
What I learned... Sometimes breaks are good. You can still have "busy" days that feel relaxed and leisurely if you do them right. I need to find a relaxing ritual to do each morning, like swimming at Barton Springs has been for us this weekend. Maybe I just need to bring that calmness to roller skating.
8/29/18
Today I... Wrote about 350 words. Not as much as yesterday when I wrote 600 (didn't have time to write an entry about it). I think writing this novel is just going to be a bit rough for a little while. Not everything about novel writing is easy, right? There's always that point where you think you can't do it. Well, I'm telling myself that I can.
Was inspired by... Roller skating! Went on a relaxed evening skate tonight and felt completely refreshed. I think roller skating is like a palate cleanser for me. It makes my day instantly better and reminds me what's really important: feeling alive, and free, and happy.
Am reading... The Summer Book by Tove Jansson. The language is very clean and sparse, but somehow that just makes the imagery even more beautiful.
Am listening to... Silence, mostly. The whirr of the air conditioner. The sound of my pen on the page.
Feeling... Like today was a full, productive day without even trying too hard to make it one, which is a nice feeling.
What I learned... When in doubt, go skating. :)
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