Right Now & Someday Soon

Things that have made me happy recently:

Snow (hint: It snowed today!).

Discovering the band Kodaline (their new album is absolute perfection). 

Planning crazy amazing travel adventures with my friends that may or may not happen ever. 

Learning French songs on the piano. 

Centering the type of this blog post, just because.

Drinking chai tea lattes, obviously. 

Eating pancakes with the people I first met when I visited Coe.

Writing birthday cards and mailing them.

Planning my reading itinerary weeks in advance (i.e. "This is the book I'm going to read over Christmas break!").

That moment when you finally finish a paper.

Successful writing center conferences.

Getting text messages from people I haven't talked to in a while.

Things I'm looking forward to:

Seeing my family and my dog and my friends (in two weeks!).

Walking into my new house for the first time.

Doing stereotypically holiday-ish things.

Having more time to read.

Deciding what book to read on the plane ride home (because I take strange pleasure from that ritual).

Somehow getting my hands on Bellman and Black, the new Diane Setterfield novel.

Having 50,000 words written at the end of November (It's happening folks, somehow, it's happening).

Study abroad in London & Florence (long term excitement for that one).

Baking cookies.

Farewell, October

October. Where did you go? It feels like I let you slip through my fingers, like when I was little and I cupped my hands under the faucet and it seemed no matter how hard I pressed my fingers together there was always a gap for the water to escape through. I suppose I'm sad to leave you. Or are you leaving me? This last week has been a whirlwind of stress and laughter and activity, and today really doesn't feel like a new beginning, not like October 1st felt at all. That's not to say I'm not looking forward to November, or Nanowrimo, or Thanksgiving. I just feel like I let you slip away, October. Like I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. I guess this will have to do.

As far as months go, you were probably one of my busiest.  I explored Cedar Rapids and Chicago. I wrote at least four papers. I probably drank half my weight in Chai tea and apple cider. I read three books. I had many interesting conversations, a couple of writing center conferences, and lots of laughs. I carved a pumpkin, flew to North Carolina, and planned several short stories. Despite a few stressful days, you were a good month, October. Best of all I have a record of you. Even if I end up doing this project next year, you will always be special, because you were first.

It's funny, today the leaves on the trees around campus really decided to show their colors. I can't tell if you were only a precursor to fall, October, or if this is this is nature's last burst of flame before winter sets in. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Maybe next year I will be able to read you better. Farewell, October. Until we meet again.


Song of the day: You Are Goodbye by Holly Conlan

LETTERS TO OCTOBER PLAYLIST!!

Songs that aren't in the playlist because Spotify is stupid:
Trying to Be Found by Snow Mantled Love
Build Me a Boat to Nowhere by Hunter & Wolfe
The Ground by Orla Gartland
Nothing Stays the Same by Luke Sital-Singh

That's all for now! Keep your eye on my Nanowrimo progress in the box underneath the typewriter in the left side bar. Participating in Nanowrimo? Add me as a writing buddy! 

Other than that, have a great November!

Letter #31

Dear October,

        It is super late and I am sitting here in my dorm room, listening to the song of the day on repeat and marveling at life in general. I started my day with the generosity of friends. A few nights ago a classmate and I were talking about how much we missed our dogs at home. When she found out her mother was going to visit and bring their dog, she invited me to join them for some good old fashioned animal time. So I spent my morning with a lovely dog and lovely people. I forgot how much I crave the unwavering energy and enthusiasm  that dogs bring with them to every interaction. It’s just so contagious! The middle of my day was spent studying for my Sociology test, which I think I aced, by the way. After dinner I had a shift in the writing center, and I did my first ever English-as-a-second-language conference. I’m not sure how much help I was, but it was definitely a learning experience. The rest of the evening was spent eating candy in my friend’s room, freaking out (and laughing hysterically) while watching Children of the Corn. There is one scene where the main character is running full speed from the creepy children with a knife wound in his chest, and in the process runs into a pole that slows him down more than the knife wound does. That cracked us up big time. Afterwards we followed Netflix’s suggestion and watched a TV show for pre-teens about a mermaid cult and a guy who turns into a half-merman by falling into a magical pool. We spent most of it trying to figure out if their accents were Australian or New Zealand-ish (?), and examining the sexual tension between the half-merman guy and his best friend.

…So that’s what I did with my Halloween, October. It was an all around good time.

I can’t believe you are almost over. (Actually, you are, since it’s after midnight now.) If there’s anything I’ve learned from this project is that so much can change day to day, and most of the time we don't even notice. I’m not going to pretend I’m a different person than I was at the beginning of the month, but these last few days have felt like I’m on the cusp of change. This project has taught me that life is more than just a procession of moments. It’s thoughts and inside jokes and chances taken and opportunities missed. Each part affects the rest. It’s like a giant puzzle that we will never find all the pieces to, but if we take a few moments to step away from it we can almost make out an image.

At the same time, there’s something to be said for just…living. Experiencing. Feeling. Like the artist in today’s song of the day. You know immediately where his heart is. It is wholly, passionately, impossibly invested in the music, the moment, life. Oh dear life. You’ve been good to me.

Laura

Song of the day: Nothing Stays the Same by Luke Sital-Singh

Letter #30

Dear October,

       You were rainy, and cold in some parts. It’s hard to believe that tomorrow is the last day of October. Or Halloween, for that matter. I don’t have any definite plans yet, but I’m sure that will change. Right now I’m sitting in the lobby on the 9^th floor of the tallest dorm on campus, listening to Kodaline and Ingrid Michaelson and Jukebox the Ghost while studying with friends. These are the nights I like best, when I get to be surrounded by friends, and we get to study and listen to music and laugh for no reason. If there’s anything I’ve learned from Letters to October it’s that my best days are the ones spent with other people. The friends I’ve met here have been wonderfully kind, funny, and thoughtful. Spending time with them can make any day better, and actually, it just has.

Laura

Song of the Day: Everybody by Ingrid Michaelson 

Letter #29

Dear October,

        Today was a lazy day. It probably shouldn’t have been quite as lazy as it was. I took a cliché picture. I did a little bit of work. I listened to a lot of Kodaline, which is quickly becoming my new favorite band. Two songs of the day today for, you know, variety. That is all.

Laura

Songs of the day:

Big Bad World by Kodaline

The Ground by Orla Gartland

Letter #26 + 27 + 28

Photo by Barbara Mills

Dear October,

       The past few days have been, well, hectic. To say the least. They’ve been stressful and sad but also rejuvenating and enlightening and inspiring. The 26^th of October, especially. It seems strange to lump it next to the 27^th and 28^th because they pale in comparison, but I’ll do my best to give each day its due.

October 26:

You dawned clear, cold, and sunny. You were the day of Uncle Stephen’s memorial service. My parents, grandmother and I ate warmed-up ciche for breakfast in the house next door to my aunt’s, who’s owner had moved out for a couple of days so that we could be nearby. We spent some time with the rest of the family and then got a ride to downtown Davidson, where we walked around, visiting some of the places Uncle Stephen would have undoubtedly shown us if he’d been there. I had Chai tea at Summit coffee shop, where my aunt’s band plays every so often. Of course the bookstore was a must, and we couldn’t leave without buying something. My dad was excited to discover a copy of Looking for Alaska by John Green, and I picked up a collection of short stories by Alice Munro. Other hidden gems included a yarn shop with a tiny record store upstairs, and a cute breakfast place that was closed when we walked by, but I think someone told us it was one of my uncle’s favorite places. Later we walked over to the Presbyterian church on the Davidson College campus for the service. Since we were family we sat in the first couple of pews, but I wish I could have stood in a corner, marveling at the sheer magnitude of the crowd that attended: neighbors, friends, business associates, middle and high school students Stephen had mentored. I suppose it’s no surprise; he made friends wherever her went. The words shared during the service were beautiful and kind, people remembering all of the things Stephen had done for them, how he made them a better person, just by being around. It made me realize how rare it is to find someone like that, and how sad it is when the world loses them. Last was a beautiful rendition of “Amazing Grace,” played on the guitar by the pastor himself.

Music seemed to be the theme of the day. Later that night friends gathered at my aunt’s house for cocktails and music, just like Stephen would have wanted. It could have been a somber occasion. We could have felt sorry for ourselves, shared tears and stories from the hardest moments, but instead the atmosphere was light. It was a celebration. Old friends caught up on current events and my aunt’s very large and very talented band played for hours. Music permeated every corner of the room. During the more popular songs the entire party broke out in song, and for a moment we all embodied Stephen’s spirit. There we were, surrounded by friends and family, our hearts beating in time with the music, our voices raised, completely lost in the moment. We were living life to fullest, just like he had.

 October 27:

Just like that my time in North Carolina came to an end. My aunt drove us to the airport and I spent the rest of the day traveling. For some reason it was harder saying goodbye to my parents this time. I’d been preparing not to see them until Thanksgiving, and suddenly I got to spend time with them for a few days. But for some reason, this brief contact made the prospect of waiting another month before seeing them again worse than before. After a long, tiring flight I finally arrived in Cedar Rapids.

I’m not sure which felt more unreal: being back on campus, or the fact that just that morning I had been in the impossibly beautiful town of Davidson, NC. Even though I had studying to do I went straight to bed and slept until dinner. I joined my friends for dinner and tried to get back into the college mindset. Slowly, my brief trip slipped deeper into memory, and I started looking ahead again. Paper due Wednesday. Soc test Thursday. This next week is not going to be easy, but I’ll make it through. And I still have Thanksgiving to look forward to.

October 28:

I got so much work done today! There really is no feeling like checking everything off of your to-do list. Let’s hope this productivity lasts...

Several songs for several days:

Way Back When/High Hopes by Kodaline

Stubborn Love by The Lumineers

Awake my Soul by Mumford and Sons

Letter #25

Dear October,

        I am in Davidson, North Carolina. This is truly an amazing place. I had always heard it was picturesque, but I had NO idea how beautiful it would be. In sad times like these, natural beauty can feel like a knife in the heart., as if the world is laughing at your pain. At the same time, what better place to celebrate a person’s life than in a place where life is so abundant? More than just the scenery, though, the people have been the most incredible part of this whole ordeal. Countless friends and neighbors came and went from my Aunt’s house, paying their respects, reminding us all how many people Stephen touched. The whole reason my mom, dad, and I can stay so close to my aunt’s house is because her next door neighbor volunteered to vacate it for incoming family. Today my father and Uncle Brent took a walk around the neighborhood. On two separate occasions people who happened to be walking their dog or standing in their driveway approached them and asked, “You’re the Mills brothers, right?” and then proceeded to give condolences and offers of support. This place, this community is so caring and strong. As cheesy as it sounds, my faith in humanity has been restored. The world is full of incredibly generous people who understand both the grief and the celebration of life that is inherent in situations like these. I know that, together, we will all find the best way to carry on the legacy of Stephen Mills.

Laura

Song of the day: Give a Little Love by Noah and the Whale